Is it too late for a whingey blog? I might get some of it out of my system now …

Question?

What do you call a group of Angry Entitled Princesses?

Answer?

A Crown of Princesses!

Today the Crown Princess Theatre was packed with some increasingly irate passengers, experiencing ‘First World’ problems; their ‘venom’ could be smelled throughout the room! The subject of the discord was “South African Immigration”; what started off as ‘information giving’ ended up being a shouting match between passengers and crew. The information being given to passengers was the result of several meetings via zoom between crew and South African authorities. The first bit of bad news was that the ship was not able to berth at the Passenger Cruise Terminal due to it being occupied by a Cargo Ship; we were to berth at the Cargo Terminal instead! The Cargo terminal has no facilities, so Passengers would need to be bussed to the Passenger Terminal to exit the Port/Meet tours etc. This would add about 20 minutes to the exit process, but require a fleet of busses and drivers. We are in Cape Town for 2 days including 1 night; we are not Prisoners on board, and when docked in Port, we should be able to come and go as we please. A continuous circuit of busses could not be guaranteed, and some passengers had a 4:30am pick up for a Balloon trip; the ship would need to place a special request for a vehicle and driver to enable them to leave the Port. You’ve already thought it, but the sensible solution would be to put the Cargo Ship in the Cargo terminal and the Passenger Ship in the Passenger Terminal! -that would be too simple. We are no longer in the First World: Welcome to South Africa!

It goes on…. Crown Princess is due to dock at 7am; and this is to be followed by a face to face inspection of EVERY Passenger and Crew member. The only positive news was that the Immigration Officials would be coming on board the vessel to facilitate the Arrivals process. If you have read my past blogs (I think the relevant one was 10 years ago on board P&O Aurora), our last trip to Cape Town and its Immigration, was disorganised and chaotic. Well apparently this hasn’t improved with the years, as the Passengers were informed that the process would take 6-8 hours! Passengers would be processed in a particular order; disembarking passengers, those on Princess Tours, then other passengers, and finally the crew. Those on Independent Tours were therefore informed that they would expect to be off by 1pm! Now, of course, the cruise schedule makes no mention of this, just the arrival time, so people have booked their own things/made meeting arrangements for mid/late morning. Can you feel the collective anger, as these people would now be changing plans/cancelling plans with no chance of refunds in many cases. I was also affected by this, as I am part of an Independent tour to Aquila Lodge for my Safari. Our Meeting time was 6:45, with the coach meeting us at 8am! The plan was a tour, then Cable Car up Table Mountain, before a 2 hour drive, arriving at the Lodge in time for Lunch followed by the afternoon Game Drive…. A 1pm start stuffed a lot of that day, forgoing Table Mountain and Lunch, in order to get to the Lodge in time for the afternoon game drive.

There was still more to come …. Apparently the South African Authorities want to conduct a second Face to Face check for departure purposes! Apparently they are worried, passengers might be tempted to stay beyond the ship’s departure; I could assure them that they would be very secure knowing that no-one would prefer this to Australia. This means that they want all passengers back on the ship earlier than expected. This effectively rules out the ‘option 2’, where we do Table Mountain after returning from the Safari Lodge on the second day! The Government wants to keep face to face inspections to keep civil servants in jobs, but this could have been conveyed to passengers, when planning their day, as the dates were secured years ahead.Table Mountain is not an essential for me, as I have been up there 3 times on previous visits, but others wouldn’t have had that experience.

I walked out of the talk after that, as they were going to change the subject to the next one, Immigration in Namibia! This was an issue for many passengers, as the process to apply was confusing, with people applying for the wrong visa, and losing their money. Anyway, I had done ours prior to departure, and had printed copies ready to show on arrival in Walvis Bay. The Namibian website EXPLICITLY stated that the printed copy was to be SIGNED IN FRONT OF the Immigration Official. Those passengers who hadn’t applied before embarkation, were told that Princess would be doing it for them on the ship. Well, that turned to dust too, as all cabins received was a letter explaining the application process. The only ‘assistance’ was to scan the QR code to get to the website and apply from there. At least for these passengers, they could have the approved application sent to the Crown Princess e-mail address, and they would print it for them. However the same letter then stated PRESENT THE SIGNED FORM to the Immigration Official. So, who do you trust, Namibian Government or Princess?

A couple of Caipirinhas later; the Safari WhatsApp group was now digesting the ripple effects of the implications to our impending tour. This is a reason why I often will pay the ‘premium’ to book special experiences through Princess, because they will prioritise your disembarkation etc. They only offered the 1-day version of this Safari, and wanted more money than we paid for the overnight version we are booked on.

What to whinge about next? As I’m on a roll …. Entertainment? This one is quick… I am convinced the Princess Entertainment Management watch Britains’s Got Talent avidly, as they seem to use the competition as a ‘talent pool’ for booking acts – “Get them cheap before they’re famous”. Several acts have revealed this commonality during their shows; this doesn’t mean that they are bad, it is really an observation and, Ross and I often joke at home when watching that show; “Coming to a Princess Ship soon”, during the auditions!

OK, now Food…. Overall, I don’t have too much to complain about here; BUT, as an ‘Entitled, Angry Princess’, I will give it a go. One of the Dining Room dishes we enjoy on a Princess Cruise is the ‘Escargot’ (Snails for you non-gastronnomes). Ross developed a liking for these since cruising with Princess, and we look forward to the night when they are to be found on the menu. Over the past years, the frequency of their inclusion has lessened, along with other ‘featured’ menu items such as ‘Filet Mignon’ and ‘Lobster’ – don’t worry that is coming….

Having been on for over 2 weeks and not seeing it so far, we asked our Waiter. Once we explained, what they were, he said he didn’t think they would be on. We were disappointed, but again, this is a First World problem. Anyway, with a Formal Night coming up, I looked at the online menu, which is available in the Princess App used onboard. To my surprise and delight, there were our prized Escargot! The menu was titled “Gala Night”, and also featured “Surf and Turf” (listed as Filet Mignon and Lobster – both ON ONE PLATE!). I was definitely moist, by this stage, a Formal night of a World Cruise with a classic Gala Menu; what could go wrong?

Needless to say, disappointment, was on the way. Having sat down at our table in our Dinner suits and Dickie Bows, we were given the Printed Menu. Zout Allors, ‘Escargot’ was missing, replaced by ‘Shrimp’, albeit presented the same way, in the little dish with 6 ‘wells’ to hold the garlic butter accompaniment. This is probably the reason Ross likes the dish, so he ordered it, whereas I was horrified. I called the waiter over, and ‘vented’; he then called his Boss over, and I ‘vented’ again. He then proceeded to contact the Chef …. These menus are PDF files, which can be edited, so I can only assume that they think people will not ‘notice’. I am NOT that passenger; very little gets past me…. I didn’t hear any more that night, so let’s continue to decimate this meal!

The Main course had also changed! ‘Filet Mignon’ had morphed into ‘Beef Tenderloin’; in essence, a small piece of premium Steak had become a slice of Beef! Admittedly, the beef was very tender and tasty, I have to give them that, but the Lobster was tough and overcooked. The final insult to the Gala Meal was the Dessert, the ‘Princess Interpretation’ of “Crepes Suzette”. Veteran readers of my blogs may recall that on a previous cruise, this was the only dish of ‘food’ I have ever sent back to the kitchen, on a cruise ship. Surely, years later, and on a “Gala Dinner”, history could not repeat itself ….. You already know the answer to this …. I will remind you that crepes are thin pancakes, round in shape; and for this dessert, they would be folded into quarter circles and finished in a buttery orange sauce. On our first Princess cruises, these were prepared ‘fresh’ by the Head Waiter at their own ‘cooking station’.

Ross gave me a knowing ‘look’ when I ordered them, as if foreseeing history repeating… He was right, of course; in my bowl were 2 SQUARE ‘items’; they were not pancakes, but thick and tasted of omelette. The ‘sauce’ had the consistency of water, and tasted, as though it had never seen an orange; or butter; or sugar; or brandy. The temptation was to send it back, but I had caused enough trouble already – I certainly didn’t want them to bring me another one! I certainly won’t be fooled into ordering that again!

So, I will end this on a bit of ‘redemption’. The following night was an ‘ordinary’ Princess Dinner, in the restaurant. After being greeted; we sat down and ordered our meal. The waiter then came, and said there might be a ‘surprise’ for us. The Head Waiter also came over and said that the Chef had prepared something ‘special’ for us. Then arrived 2 plates of ‘Escargot’, fresh out the oven with bubbling garlic butter! Where had they found these snails? A tin hidden in the corner of the pantry? Or found living on a damp bit of wood somewhere around the Ship? We received ‘entitled’ looks from our dining neighbours, but they were brilliant!

Of course, this is all written in jest with my sense of humour; with so much War, financial stress and unhappiness happening the world because of Donald Trump, I do realise just how fortunate I am to be in a position to go on a World Cruise amongst the company of fellow ‘Crown of Entitled Elite Princesses’!